Give Total Freedom, then Ask for Everything

So, okay, my actual theory of the moment on this thought that Bill Sergott so well expressed on Wednesday (and that Steve Hamilton picked up on): 

bsergott said...

"...I want to believe that we can have a vibrant parish life that is infused with a monastic order vision. There has to be a way to have covenant community inside the vibrant life of a parish, without setting up a faith caste system..."

Yup yup yup.  Wouldn't we all...

Here's what I'm considering most at the moment.  I've been struck over the years that it's easy for churches to lay judgment trips on congregants who don't do whatever it is that the pastor or the leadership wants them to do.  Whether it's "being better Christians" at work or tithing or leading a ministry or whatever, the very act of bringing it up says that the leader thinks this thing is good and, perhaps, that any "good Christian" would agree and take action.  This is a leading cause of frustration among pastors I talk with--their people don't do such "clearly" godly things. 

I'm sure I fall into the same trap all the time.

And yet my dream for myself cuts against this grain.  My dream would be to affirm that the choices my listeners make are probably admirably wise for their own lives--they, after all, know their circumstances better than I do.  So, when I'm doing well on this front, I try to emphasize that I completely endorse their choice whether they do the thing I'm talking about or not.

But then, having said that, I find myself (at my best at least) saying, "But for those of you who DO groove on this, who DO feel God's prodding to you here, I'd encourage you to give like crazy along these lines."

My thinking is that, when we're coercive in any way, we vastly scale back what we ask for, because we don't want to have to judge everybody for not meeting our heroic standards.  So we don't ask for heroic things--we ask for small things that seem obvious (tithing, for instance) that, when we still don't get even that, we get bitter and judgmental.

In terms of this sodality conversation (see last Wednesday's post for a definition), I'm wondering if it's working out for me this way. 

I'm wondering if the leader's job is to keep the sodalic vision alive in their own understanding and passions.  (If the leader doesn't want sodality, it strikes me as a non-starter.)  And then it becomes the leader's job to regularly pitch both the sodality and the modality (which I'm defining as 'everything a good church should be doing'--empowering intimacy with God and leadership development and good relational and biblical skills and loving the poor).  When the leader pitches the sodality, he or she invites those who are grabbed by this into a second setting, where he or she gives the full vision and invites commitment from those who want to commit.  (But, in making that pitch, the leader makes absolutely clear that this is only for folks whose hearts are stirred by God in this way.  Everyone else should nod politely and forget they ever heard this, with absolutely no judgment coming their way from the leader.  They've probably made a wise choice.)  He or she shows how each person who DOES respond can take on the sodalic vision as their own life calling and lets those who are responsive opt in to see themselves as central to making this vision happen (provide funding, say, or put in the leg work or prayer that's needed or whatever). 

And then the leader works with this team towards the sodalic vision.  He or she gives periodic, encouraging updates to the larger congregation about this stuff, with invitations to anyone whose heart is stirred by this to check it out.  But then the leader cheerfully and passionately goes back to the modalic aspects of his or her job.

So I'm proposing a continual culling process of those who are into the sodalic side of the community.  Then an invitation to give themselves fully to this stuff.  Then offer periodic opportunities to the congregation at large to opt in if they'd like. 

Does this fall into the trap that Bill S. describes of setting up a "faith caste system"?  I'm hoping not, because I'm hoping that there really IS no judgment towards either camp.  In this vision, it becomes a question of offering an opportunity that some will appreciate and won't be for others.  And yet it provides a regularly-nurtured, larger, sodalic endeavor for those who opt in.

It's the best I've figured out for the moment.  But it's clearly in process.  Your thoughts?

Comments

[bsergott]

Yeah, this is exactly what has really helped me in my ministry. Even saying "my ministry" points to the problem. I am growing out of a lot of my failings in this area, though they rear their ugly heads from time to time. I always walked around carrying MY VISION (cue the triumphant music). MY VISION was everything and, gosh darn it, who wouldn't want to forsake all for the sake of MY VISION? It is so big and bodacious, all people could be neatly absorbed into it (cue sad music as person after person disappointed me).

It was so freeing for me to realize that every single person in my community has their own vision from God that is powerful and life-inspiring. There are areas where their visions line up neatly with mine, and we can partner our visions together for a season to expand the Kingdom in that area. Others will be inspired in other areas. However, and this is key, there is no one other than my wife who is called to walk out my whole vision with me. This has been the most freeing truth for me in ministry. It's not all about MY VISION, though I do have the best one (tongue in cheek). As a pastor, I am called to cast my larger vision and people will catch on to the parts that match up with their calling. There is a lot in a lot of different areas that everyone can sink their teeth into some part of it. Then, I can be free to embrace parish work of praying with people and encouraging them along the way.

The hardest part is to keep reinforcing this truth with my leaders, who do not have the life experience of repeatedly banging their heads against this wall. If they are truly sensitive to the needs and limitations of the people in community with them, they will be much more gracious and loving. This virtually eliminates the caste system. Every single person has a God-ordained vision on their lives. It is not our job to absorb that into ours. It is our job to help them gain momentum in pursuing those dreams in concert with all of the other dreams flowing in and through community life.

[Rodger Otero]

Having spent the dominant years of my Christian formation in the Bible Belt, it seems to me that shaking off this "caste system" mentality is likely to take a good bit of work. Lots of modeling. Lots of redefinition. Lots of love. Lots of patience. Lots of acceptance. Lots of respect, allowing others to make their own decisions.

Although we're currently planting in a heavily secular area, I've noticed that at least half (I'm just now thinking about this...) of the folks who find us and who already have a good deal of church experience seem to have this mindset. It's not overt. But given our surroundings, it could, left alone, cause our church to become the very opposite of what we hope that it will become. (Which, in case I'm not being very clear, is the non-caste flavor. We've never put it that way, but I like it. I'm stealing that phrase, Dave...)

So how do we cause this shift in church-thinking to happen in those folks who have been ingrained with the caste system mindset? And as leaders, how do we change our own hearts on the matter so we don't get totally discouraged when it seems no one listening? Anybody? It all sounds so good on paper...(or pixels, rather.)

[steven hamilton]

Dan - that is a fantastic picture of the Blues Brothers! "We're on a mission from God!"

love it.

this seems like a fairly inviational, even centered-set way of leadership...and i like it, because i think it makes space for those who can forge ahead, but equally keeps the door open so other people can "catch it", so-to-speak.

the expansive "envisioning" that bill is treferring to above also resonates a lot...it's also a way to embarce humility as leaders (you mean it's not all about me!?!), yet it also challenges leaders to keep looking for the interconnectivity of all that envisioning so as to cast that larger perspective that can hold things in tension together or hold that which might easily be scattered as gathered, thus people can still feel part of a community as a whole, even though there might be a great variety of ministry happening...

[steven hamilton]

personally, to move toward a shift in engrained perspectives, i think it has to be intentional - that's for sure - and i think this is a journey toward a paradigm shift for some (the journey aspect hopefully encouraging pastors to keep on keeping on), because something like this might be one of those things we talk about that is "better caught than taught"...and i also think this is related to what we might call the ministry of the Kingdom, because identity issues can and need to be healed just like everything else (physical, emtional, relational issues) that enters the Kingdom...so it's part-and-parcel of a centered-set Kingdom trajectory...

[kenny]

super helpful

[Ryan NYC]

No time to actually read the comments, at the moment, but I agree with Kenny (his was short enough to read). In fact, it's my opinion that this is probably the most helpful post in NTRT's illustrious blog existence.

Kind-of reminds me of the notion to engage where the Father is already working, rather than trying to pull everyone towards what "should" be happening.

Thanks, Dave!

[Jeff]

Love it. I feel like I've benefitted so much even myself by moving this direction. We were working on a video for Leap of Faith highlighting a really cool way someone had served someone else. And as we were making the video, the thing we kept saying was, 'we can't make her seem noble'. Because the deal wasn't that it was all noble, it's more like, she really benefitted from that experience and would do it again.

[ben w]

If you can provide a vision and practical work that two or more agree on (and do, respectively, each through their giftings and circumstances), your unity can be the strength that gets sodal(?) things accomplished.

[Ryan NYC]

That last paragraph was awesome

[Rodger Otero]

Sodalicious?

[Rodger Otero]

"Better caught than taught." Good call. Thanks for the reminder! Thanks for bringing up the connection with the ministry of the kingdom having the effect of straightening our identity issues. Thank God for that!

[Evan]

I had a senior pastor announce to me upon bringing me from part-time to full-time salaried, "Now we own your soul!" I think his sarcasm was mixed with glee. I've worked with that tension of my calling and vision vs. the church's ministry and demands. This picture is helpful.

Seems also that parachurch/sodality-type ministry can be part of the glue that holds the many churches and denominations together. In that sense, the missional calling of each parish may parallel the personal, God-ordained vision of each Jesus follower. Perhaps this also explains how individual parishes might even resonate with vision from other denominations while retaining the values of their own movement.

Perhaps the values of each denomination are the cookie dough, but the shape of each parish is provided by the sodality cookie cutters passed between movements.

[Postkiwi]

Thanks for exploring this. Maybe we need to rethink the idea that communicating the "vision" is mostly communicated from "up front" by a key leader. I like the idea of inviting people to develop their own rule of faith, their own way of expressing their calling, and to find ways of being mutually accountable. The story telling that comes from this approach might give more permission for wild and monastic expressions of life.

[Dan L]

Thanks Steve! I actually have to give the credit for that one to Adam Bakun. Good stuff.

"Ya see, me and the Lord have an understanding."