Thoughts on the Enneagram, or how to use guilt productively/ Jeff Heidkamp

About three months ago I was introduced to the book The Enneagram by Richard Rohr, and have been helped immensely by it.  Having read it with my wife, we find it almost impossible to stop ourselves from endlessly analyzing ourselves and others according the the "9 types".

On the surface, the Enneagram feels essentially like another personality test (think Myers-Briggs, DiSC, or StrengthsFinder).  But, as a junkie of such tests, I am tempted to say that this one is different in at least two substantive ways.  Perhaps if I describe these differences, you can get some sense of how it works.

First, the Enneagram is quite willing to pigeonhole you in ways these other tests aren't.  That is, at least Rohr insists you are one and only one of the nine types.  It's not that you won't recognize pieces of yourself in the other eight, but until you come to terms with which one you are, the system won't have much value. And many Enneagram-ists warn that taking a test is only a help to discovering your true type- for many people, it takes quite a while.  And it is crucial, ultimately, to come to terms with your type. To try to spread yourself over several types is an obvious move, and partially true, but in another sense, also an attempt to dilute some central realities of who you are.

For example, when Dave was first telling me about this, he was fairly sure I was an eight.  Then, I took an online test and was labeled a three.  Reading the description there, I thought the test was wrong and Dave was right.  But later, reading Rohr's much more detailed description of the Enneagram and the types, I came to the crushing realization that I am a three and gosh darn it, I'm going to have to own it.  (If you make any progress into Enneagram-land, this sort of bizarre number-talk will soon be familiar territory).  

I mentioned the "crushing realization" that I was a three, and that related to the second helpful thing about the Enneagram- it is shamelessly judgmental.  It has its sources in the seven deadly sins with two more added, and the basic key is that your type is your core sin.  It is the core sin that is under all your other small sins, and it is the sin which, if you do not come to terms with it, will destroy you.  When I read the description of a three, I literally went flush and had to hide in embarrassment for several hours.  (And the fact that I am now writing a public essay on the fact is, to my mind, impishly three-ish).

But this judgment is in a strange way, exhilarating.  Because most of us (some of us?) feel like our surface faults, our surface problems are, well, not, the real thing.  Everyday lusts and vanities, even addictions and betrayals, while destructive, feel symptomatic of something underneath.  And battling off those surface faults, while crucial, begins to feel like an endless fly-swatting routine.  Particularly people like me with Midwest-guilt issues, at some point we wonder if we really need to be doing this much soul-searching and repentance over snapping at our co-worker- with no minimization of the need to apologize and change such behaviors.

When I work with the Enneagram (which has concrete tools for each type to begin to confront the core sin) I often still deal with my Midwest-guilt issues, but I feel like they are actually getting me somewhere.  Like there might be change and maturity that goes beyond endless sin fly-swatting.

Looking at what I've written, I think I've painted to dark a picture, so I'll add a brighter side.  It just helps us understand funny things about each other.  My wife is brilliantly perfectionistic, a classic "one", and at times, realizing the things that she is obsessing over perfecting simply enables her to laugh a bit and let it go.  At the same time, there is incredible power in her perfectionism, and when it is redeemed with a touch of grace, we see the incredible things that she is able to pull off, and to thank God for who he made her to be.

And for all my "need to perform and impress" three-ness that can turn me into a vain peacock, it's also true that when I put my shoulder into something, I tend to get it done.  And when I can harness that power in the direction of love and responsibility, instead of mere strutting, good stuff can sometimes happen.

Well, that's just really a taste.  If it seems interesting, spend some time on it, and let us know how it turned out for you!

Comments

[Vinceation]

I just commented on Jeff's post of this on his blog. The recognition seeking in me compels me to copy and paste...

Per your brief mention a little while back, Jeff, I borrowed The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective just last week from a friend and have been going through it.
Because I’m only 24, I may be “spoiling” my life a bit on Rohr’s terms, but I’m finding it a powerful experience even so, full of the shameless judgement you’re talking about. I will concede that I’m having more trouble than I expected finding my number, and that’s probably because I have less life experience “playing my games” than someone in their 30s (Rohr’s ideal age for the Enneagram).

On a meta-note, I found one of Rohr’s comments in the intro to the book extremely significant… He writes: “In [the mystical traditions from which the Enneagram comes], a phenomenon that we take for granted would be unthinkable, that is, individuals who are analytically experienced and psychologically ‘integrated,’ but spiritually atrophied, or religious persons whose character defects and psychic instability are palpably clear.”… I am rocked by the potential significance of of a movement of Jesus-followers that treats emotional/psychological health and spiritual health as one in the same; that when we talk about conversion or being saved or repentance, or whatever, we’re talking about this stuff.

[brian]

I'm a three also, and when I saw this, I was embarrassed as well, but sort of proud--so it was funny to just read you say that you were embarrassed, but also sort of proud. But why are/were we embarrassed of the three category? The vanity thing, I suppose. But I tell you this: I took the test maybe two-three years ago, and the three categorization feels way less bad now than it did then.
Also, love this line in your description above: "Particularly people like me with Midwest-guilt issues, at some point we wonder if we really need to be doing this much soul-searching and repentance..."
I'm from WI and can relate to this.
Thanks for the good post!

[Jeff]

Oh, Brian, thank you so much for being impressed by me! Haha.

[Paul]

This is good, Jeff, thanks...and am inspired to finally take the plunge into Enneagram-dom.

I can totally relate with your enthusiasm, Vince, with that Rohr quote. I wonder if that isn't a possible huge huge gift that the church can offer to our secular society! Let's get out of the surface-level morality business and help people rediscover their own hearts (emotional / psychological health)!

[Holly]

Interesting -- after a few years of hearing about the Enneagram and having a vague idea of what number I might be, I just started reading about it more earnestly a couple weeks ago. And I had a similar response: Feeling bad about my type! I'm still not 100% sure -- I think I'm either a 1 or a 9 -- but I hate, hate, hate the idea that my core sin may be sloth. I feel like I've done nothing but feel guilty about liking TV my whole life! Why can't I just enjoy it? That's such an interesting perspective, Jeff, that the whole concept is shamelessly judgmental, and that realizing this is part of the freedom.

In addition to feeling bad about my own possible types, I found myself wanting to punch a couple of the other types in the face. I assume the part where I have compassion and understanding for other types will come in time...

[steven hamilton]

i really think the enneagram is a great tool and have used it, and continue to use it. i'm a self-identified 5, which comes with its own angst, blessing and cursing...

[PB]

I think I remember Rohr mentioning something about people not being able to correctly or fully identify their type until their 30s. I say that because I feel like I relate to many different types, and while I have my hunch about my type (number 4), I can't say it confidently. So I probably haven't quite settled into my personality & character enough yet. And, to Rohr's merit, I'm 25. Anyway, just some comfort for any other 20-somethings who haven't identified themselves as whatever (or who, perhaps, aren't interested in the label).

Meaning, for the next many years I hope to keep having lots of great discussions with people like yourselves as I figure it out!

[Abby]

Interesting post, thank you! I have been studying the Enneagram for over 20 years and find it an extremely useful tool for personal growth and helping people understand why they almost always react to stresses in a very predictable way. Rohr's was the first book I read on the topic, followed by many other authors, as well as taking several workshops. Another excellent book to read is Hurley & Dobson's "What's My Type?". Of course the goal of this study is to overcome the patterns that have evolved as our favorite and almost inescapable coping mechanisms, and to become more balanced and whole. Self-typing may be difficult for some people (mostly because we usually don't like the type we are--no one properly typed will say, goody I'm a 6 or whatever!), but a master can easily type them, and even discern young children's types. This system is also very helpful in understanding the way people behave and cut them some slack (between couples, dealing with your parents, your children, your boss, your colleagues, etc.).

[DJ Sybear]

Huh.

[steven hamilton]

i especially ike the terms the enneagram uses, for instance, moving toward integration or toward dis-integration. bringing movement to the concepts really resonates...

[Crispin Schroeder]

I've read a few books from Rohr but not this one so I don't have much to contribute on this conversation. I will have to check it out. Thanks for the post.

[brian]

Ha, no, you deserve it: for being a leader; for embodying cultural values; for stepping outside of the modesty of the northern prairies...!!!

[Abby]

Holly, your last paragraph reveals that you can't possibly be a Nine... ;-)

[Chris Wheeland]

Like your post jeff. I am Intrigued, so much so that I took the online test. It turns out I am a 7 closely followed by a 2. Which explains alot. I definatly want to learn more. I think I will start with the book you recommended. On one hand his whole thing feels a bit narcissistic, on the other hand I think it could be a super helpful tool for both leadeship and personal growth. Thanks for being vunrable, funny and couragous!

[Holly]

Ha! Well spotted!

[PB]

Brian, where in Wisconsin? I was born in Milwaukee...

[brian]

PB: I went to Slinger High School; probably the closest town to where I actually lived (out in the country, where my parents still live) is St. Lawrence. It's just about a dozen or so (?) exits north of the Brown Deer Rd. exit on the highway! I miss WI...sometimes...